What’s in the bag?  Well…sometimes, its drugs…oh hell…a lot of times its drugs.  It’s Columbian Gold, its Mexicali madness, its bitter root, it’s a mysterious white powder that turns out to be not that mysterious at all.  It’s a cure for what ails you.  Yea…right.

What’s in the bag?  It’s a bandana; it’s a scarf, a pair of well-worn boots.  It’s a pair of faded Levis and perhaps a pair of gloves that are used to do the work no one else will do. 

What’s in the bag?  It’s a disguise, keys to a getaway car, a fake passport, plane ticket to a place very far away.  Welcome to the Witness Protection Plan.

What’s in the bag?  It’s a severed head, a detached hand with a pinky ring.  Sometimes a sobering message has to be delivered.

What’s in the bag?  Well, it’s a bag of tricks.  It’s hocus pocus alakazam, a deck of cards without a winnings hand, a bit of flim, a bit of flam.  And as they say…you’ll be holding the bag.

What’s in the bag?  It’s a bag of excrement placed strategically at your front door.  And it looks like you stepped right in it.

What’s in the bag?  It’s a gun, it’s a knife, it’s some brass knuckles, it’s a small thermonuclear device.  It’s all of those things your pappy warned you about…And it’s at the airport.  Not good my friend…not good at all.

What’s in the bag?  It’s the remains of your beloved Uncle Leon.  It should have been an urn, but your Aunt Louise didn’t go to a reputable funeral home.  Now Uncle Leon is blowing down some desert highway drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds.  But somehow, I think that’s the way Uncle Leon would have wanted it.

What’s in the bag?  Open it up, you just might be surprised.