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Story-line: At the gate of a castle, two sentinels are chitchatting while waiting for the arrival of the King.
SCENE ONE.
Blackout. We hear a voiceover.
MELENAU (OFF)
The King is coming!
Lights up on a front door of a castle in the Middle Ages. GORDON (30), the sentry guard of the castle is sleeping at the door.
His spear lies on the floor.
MELENAU (25), the owner of the voice we have just heard is a sentry guard, too. He enters holding his spear.
MELENAU
(Loud.)
The King is coming!
(GORDON wakes up. Confused.)
GORDON
What?
MELENAU
I said the King is coming.
GORDON
Now?
MELENAU
Yeah.
(GORDON picks up his spear and looks out the door.)
GORDON
But the sun is still sleeping. I can see the moon's light.
MELENAU
And?
GORDON
The King will come only at dawn.
MELENAU
I think not.
GORDON
How do you know that?
MELENAU
The Queen said so.
GORDON
The Queen spoke to you?
MELENAU
No. Of course not. I heard it from the lady-in-waiting.
GORDON
Which one?
MELENAU
Adele.
GORDON
Adele spoke to you?
MELENAU
No. I heard it from her in the kitchen. She was talking with Mildred.
GORDON
Did you go into the kitchen?
MELENAU
No... I mean... yeah...
GORDON
Are you crazy, Melenau?
MELENAU
Just one time... It was late night...
GORDON
What the hell were Adele and Mildred doing in the kitchen?
MELENAU
Eating.
GORDON
Late at night?
MELENAU
Like me.
GORDON
Oh my God!
MELENAU
They didn't see me.
GORDON
And there you heard them talking about the King...
MELENAU
Yeah. They said the King is coming.
GORDON
And Haghar?
MELENAU
Haghar, the cook?
GORDON
Beware of the cook. Did he know that you went into the kitchen?
MELENAU
No.
GORDON
If Haghar gets you...
MELENAU
Please... don't say nothing about it.
GORDON
Of course not.
MELENAU
Thanks.
GORDON
Do you know what Haghar did with Celebe?
MELENAU
The blacksmith?
GORDON
Yeah. Haghar saw Celebe in the kitchen and cut off his big toe.
MELENAU
Are you kidding?
GORDON
Sure he did it.
MELENAU
Now I understand why he never takes off his shoes.
GORDON
Exactly.
MELENAU
Poor man...
GORDON
Haghar doesn't permit anybody there. He has a fear about poison.
MELENAU
Poor man...
GORDON
Did you know about Duncan, the King's Stableman?
MELENAU
No.
GORDON
He lost his... You know what I mean...
MELENAU
I don't.
GORDON
He lost his... his... his "sword of life".
MELENAU
Oh! Really? How?
GORDON
Haghar.
MELENAU
Haghar?
GORDON
As he did with the big toe of Celebe... cut it off.
MELENAU
Duncan also entered at the kitchen?
GORDON
No.
MELENAU
What happened?
GORDON
Duncan was seeing Mirthes, Haghar's wife at the lake.
MELENAU
Get out!
GORDON
I swear... She was bathing totally naked. Someone told Haghar about Duncan watching his wife at the lake. When the night came, Haghar went to Duncan's room and cut off his 'sword of life'.
MELENAU
Poor man.
GORDON
Haghar is merciless.
MELENAU
Gordon, how do you know that?
GORDON
I'm a well informed man ... by the way, I listen at the wall.
MELENAU
Do you listen at the wall?
GORDON
Everyday.
MELENAU
What else did you hear?
GORDON
I shouldn't talk.
MELENAU
Why?
GORDON
Because it would be the end of me.
MELENAU
Is it serious?
GORDON
Very.
MELENAU
Gordon, I'm your friend. Please, trust me.
GORDON
I can't.
MELENAU
Trust me?
GORDON
No. I cannot say what I know.
MELENAU
Oh, man! You're killing me softly...
(GORDON approaches the door, trying to hear something.)
GORDON
Is the King coming?
MELENAU
Let me see.
(MELENAU looks out the door.)
MELENAU
I think not.
GORDON
But I heard a noise.
MELENAU
Could be an owl.
GORDON
Maybe...
MELENAU
Will you tell me?
GORDON
What?
MELENAU
About the wall.
GORDON
Forget it.
MELENAU
What do you hear at the wall?
GORDON
Nothing... just nothing...
MELENAU
Is it about the Queen?
GORDON
Stop it! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind?
MELENAU
We are alone here.
GORDON
But soon the King will be here.
MELENAU
Tell me before he arrives.
GORDON
I think we should stay in our positions. We're sentries.
MELENAU
Alright! Alright! I don't want to know anything.
GORDON
Thank you.
(They go to the sentry post with their spears.)
(Silence.)
MELENAU
You're an asshole.
GORDON
Shut up!
MELENAU
I should give you a punch.
GORDON
Do it.
MELENAU
I never liked you.
GORDON
Great! I always thought that you were a better jester than sentry.
MELENAU
You're going to swallow that.
(The two begin to fight. It's a fun fight, nobody will be injured.)
(Suddenly we hear the sound of trumpets.)
MELENAU
The King is coming!
GORDON
Oh my God!
(They stop fighting and run to their positions.)
(There's a moment's silence.)
MELENAU
Sorry.
GORDON
That's fine.
MELENAU
I lost my mind.
GORDON
(Sotto voice.)
What I know has nothing to do with the Queen.
(Again, we hear the sound of trumpets.)
MELENAU
I got it.
(The two guards stay frozen at the door.)
(A strong light shines up and down the door and fog
fills the place to create a visual effect.)
(We begin to hear the music: "It's Now or Never" by Elvis Presley.)
(Then -- all of a sudden -- Elvis Presley appears.)
(The King, Elvis Presley, sings.)
(Curtain.)
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