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Basque Proverbs flush out Steve's wasteful Imagination. See it burn to a crisp alikened to the vampire caught out at dawn's scorching LIGHT.
I'm Basque, and proud of it. But, alas, having said that, I've been blindsided, and blinded through a good drenching of tears. It was, I must say, a good cry, the kind that gets the shoulders to cry. It appears I have been outted by this great culture's profound "wisdoms".
They fed the Old World by their "cookings" on the New World's cold, lonesome land. Yes, believe it, they came to the Americas first … these great seamen who feared not what may lie beyond the horizon. On The Road To Civilization, my people fed, nourished them; those Discoverers who knew from within, they must travel into the unknown, seeking new worlds to be civilized; even as they, also, were being enLIGHTened culturally, socially, scientifically. WE cooked the Cod they ate to live. Over yonder, in the part of the New World named Nova Scotia!
It happened one night (not the movie!) at my fitness club. OHH…WHAT AN OXYMORON that is! - "my" and "fitness" in the same sentence!
Nonetheless, continuing …
By MY lofty, self-imposed standards (akin to Medieval torture chamber howling-pain), I had just finished-up a strenuous workout. And they say I talk too much. Hey, I feel the "pain, Mr. Buffed-up over there. It's just that ol' philanthropic, humanitarian me … I gotzta spread mine around, want others, e.g., my "spotters" to share the "glories" of such inimitable duress…how else to achieve the "gain" no man has experienced, save self.
Wiping away the sweat pouring out in Niagara portions, anxious to shower off then Jump into the Cold Dip for Defragmentation (hear tell it's a chilly 64 degrees). Well, as expected, one of my worshippers cornered me. Poor Soul was in dire need of his "fix", his daily edification, AKA his live hero-worship session, his daily ration of "bread" … make that wheat … with his hero, who, but of course, would be me.
He literally takes in every word I speak; often, albeit knowing the consequence, but, as a helpless mere yearling, breaking through my 18-inch personic space abutment, OHH…SO TOO CLOSE! … risking great wrath via earth-rattling, verbal, public trouncings…to grasp hungrily, swallowing, in nonsyncopated gulpings, (best described to be likened to a piranha-like feeding frenzy) … of the" givings" I proclaim. He, of course, is battled by many seeking their final feeding of the night: cramming, poking, and elbowing one another.
They all say they must snap the air around me, like dogs at flies, hoping to take in the breath that created my powerful pronouncements, life-lessons. We all have a personic shield around us. Watch two people at conversation: one always snouting too close, one always backing away to regain his personic distance, Some so distance-desired/crazed are two feet or even more. They could never "see a stranger across a crowded room" with the exception of being in Leonard Cohen's Great Concert Hall in Vienna (¯Take This Waltz¯)
This day, he was so intrigued by my patronymic, my cognomen … okay, okay, my surname, he asked about its origin. I told him it was Basque. 20 questions flashed along his forehead like the news display at Times Square. I took him to the club's computer and typed in: http://www.buber.net/Basque/Euskara/proverb.html
Brief explanation: being of Basque origin, ergo, ancient; so far back these proverbs are some of the first ever exclaimed in the history of the world. They may appear similar to other proverbs you've heard or read. Those are offshoots of these OHH…SO ORIGINAL proverbs, not vice-versa as you may initially think. Believe you me! … Hey! I heard that!
Now,
He went into a warp speed state of reading, he was so transfixed by each proverb (by the way, they appear initially in the Basque language and with an excellent explanation of their meaning), e.g.
No. 22: Ardiak beeka egonik, ez du jaten belarrik "A bleating sheep eats no grass." You can't act and talk at the same time. Don't just complain, take action.
No. 98: Ez ardo bizidunik, ez andre bizardunik "Two things to avoid: sparkling wine and bearded women." not wine with life (i.e., sparkling wine), nor woman with beard. Two things to stay away from, presumably by people who don't like champagne. The idea is that these two things are unnatural, aberrations. Wine should not be sparkling, just like women should not have beards.
And then it happened, unluckily, his eyes fell upon No. 41, Balizko errotak, irinik ez "An imaginary/hypothetical mill produces no flour." [the mill of if-it-was]. Said of people who have too much "imagination" and talk about things which are impossible or don't exist as if they were real and had consequences. After reading it many times, the lad looked befuddled, despondent, saying: "Mr. Steve, how did they know you … so long before you were born? We hailed your great imagination! But, now, we see you in a new LIGHT! Your people speak of bulging, irrepressible imaginations, such as yours as irrepressible verbiage ridiculi. Furthermore, take 271… that's you, I'm sorry to say! He spoke Basque beautifully…I think! Zahar eroa, gazte zoroa baino txarrago "A crazy old person is worse than a crazy/foolish young person. It is sort of expected that young people will be crazy (wild, irresponsible; do crazy things), but if old people do the same kind of things, then supposedly there is something wrong, and they must be insane.
"OK, Mr. Shepherd Man, you're always telling us Esquerre means Shepherd…well bleat this, then get thee to those dumbbells over there!"
No. 20: Ardi galdua atzeman daiteke, aldi galdua berriz ez "One may recover a lost sheep, but not lost/wasted time." The lost sheep may be recovered, the lost time on the other hand not. His demeanor changed:
"I'm thinking, maybe you shouldn't brag about being Basque, anymore, Mr. Steve. Check this one out": No. 36: Azeri zaharrak ile zaharra uzten du, aztura zaharrik ez "The old fox sheds its old hair, but not its old habits." Self-explanatory.
I hurriedly shot back with a salvo of Yeah-but-look-at, bringing to his attention No. 272. Zahar-ele, zuhur-ele "The old person's words are wise words."Self-explanatory, too. Quickly reminding him of having once said, in front of many, how wise and knowledgeable I am, I referred him to No. 167Jakindunen artean dabilena, jakindun "One who spends his time among wise people is wise too."
"My boy, think about all the great advice I've given you. I learned them sitting at my Grandfather's knee…old Pappza Etchevarrian … OHH…HOW HE LOVED BASEBALL! Listen up!"
No. 253: Umeak! Isilik oiloak pixa egin arte "Children! Be quiet until the chickens pee." A way of telling children to be, and stay, quiet. Of course, it is a well-known fact that chickens don't urinate.
"And, and …what about No. 98?" Ez ardo bizidunik, ez andre bizardunik "Two things to avoid: sparkling wine and bearded women." [not wine with life (i.e. sparkling wine), nor woman with beard] Two things to stay away from, presumably by people who don't like champagne. The idea is that these two things are unnatural, aberrations. Wine should not be sparkling, just like women should not have beards.
Totally desperate, now. "Take this! No. 258": Urde goseak, ezkurra amets "A hungry pig dreams about acorns. " Okay, this next one, I admit, is a tad rough…but, ol' Pappza lived in rough times…don't take it too literal, but, there's a lesson in it to be learned … just don't get caught!" No. 187: Lehenean barka, bigarrenean urka "The first time, forgive; the second time, hang." In other words, always give someone a second chance, but never a third chance. The second time, give the severest punishment….Huh! In the end, he, of course, begged my forgiveness. As he returned, reclining at my knee, for more nurturing words, I said:
"Those are about the real me, young man! No. 41 is to be ignored as a miserable exception to the rule. Pay no attention to it, nor those others. Ben must have translated them in error. Some foreign words, especially Basque, whose origins are unknown, are often terribly translated, some to the point of being 180 degrees in error. Why they probably meant a dark, empty, bottom-fed, imagination, not an immense, spanning-the-times, over-the-top one, such as mine … don't you think? You should think that, you know? Would I try trickery to get you to believe me? No, my lad, Steve's Tao wouldn't allow that, believe you me!"
whew!
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