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Listen sir, I realize that during the course of a business day…mistakes happen. But I ordered computer equipment. What I actually received was a severed head that kinda sorta resembles my cousin Artie and a pickled liver. I tried to call Artie, but unfortunately for me, he not's answering. He's probably on one of his many gambling runs south of the border betting on cock fights. Now I have federal agents sniffing around in my garbage, taking pictures, and asking questions I don't have answers to. As for my secretary, she's in counseling. She won't so much as open a pizza box anymore. I run a legitimate business sir. I am an outstanding member of the community. I'm on the city council. I'm on the board of a local charity. But this is a small town. People like to talk. They like to spread gossip and rumors because let's face it, what else is there to do here? I'll be ruined if this keeps up. So I don't care what you have to do to make things right, just do it! And yes, I still need that computer equipment. I'll pick it up. Don't ship it!
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