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I
onceuponatime a businessman who believed he had big hands and a bigger head came to power in a great nation his campaign slogan proclaimed make [that nation] win again he promised to build a southernwall against invading rapistsofcolor he promised to pulltheplug on the political cesspool
he expected to expand his brand in the marketplace of fake estate fake estates where his properties usually failed and his workers never got paid
he woke up one morning to tellynews that while his female opponent won the popular vote
really? more people desired her than him?
he hefted the landed vote
more states in the great nation fell to his party the
party which at first said he wasn't oneofthem
and then he realized the enemy of the great nation heard his wish to tamper with his election the enemy who was his customer though the businessman called him friend
II
once in the nick of time a pig sorghumsoy farmer heard a businessman promise to make their country free of foreign tyranny that tyranny of finicky buying habits that punished a great nation's farming income
the farmer loved the whip smart tongue of the businessman who once elected punished the nation of yellowbellied varmints with trade tariffs sure it stopped the farmer's sales but he believed down the rutted road he would get his money the new leader was such a good bully a lot like his father who kicked him the son when the son stumbled from a welldeserved blow
III
in an unexpected but feared scenario a trio of welleducated girlfriends pledged that should the businessman be elected they would flee their great nation find another country without this pending plague where only the onepercent would flourish where dicks would become the new walking sticks where the landofthefree the homeofthebrave would not burn down
did they go? oh no
they sighed it was onlyfouryears safeguards were in place we will demonstrate we will call our congressionalrepresentatives we will flip the House we will flip the Senate before we flip our pussy wigs
IV
once upon a time an evangelical woman of longstanding faith a lineage that began well before the Northern Aggression lived with her guntoting husband and their grown Biblethumping twin sons in the deep South
preserving White heritage was an abiding concern but when Fox News announced the ascendency of the businessman who would build a wall and stall entry of murderous immigrants from invading her beloved land she knew Messiah had been installed in the White House surrounded by the monstrousswamp
she knew because
Fox hinted the Truth that the onceinahundredyears plague came from the swamp but would magically disappear oh not in April but before the next election of my dear president dearleader who she knew inherheart could stand in the middle of that greedgrabbing northern state's 5th Avenue and shoot an unarmed barbarian and get away with it he had an enchanted trenchcoat that made him invisible to ordinary laws
she never believed the women who accused her
hero of sexualmisconduct rape
she and her sexstarved husband who whispered
in her ear had my mom been able she would have aborted me
wasn't a twin birth enough for any family?
were adamant Prolifers
wow do women even those brutalized by sexual miscreants
maybe illegal aliens
really go through with abortions?
she felt so lucky not to have any daughters
daughters who might argue with her over abortion
V
the point is that steppin' on the thick neck of an unarmed Black man matters said a southern Black evangelical I'm settin' aside my standin' on same-sex marriage and abortion the businessman won't get my vote and I will crawl to the polls if I have ta I'm tellin' my sons and daughters you go ahead and protest in the streets wear those masks keep your distance from the ninjas and the blues call your mama and me but stay away 'cause we gonna vote and we can't vote if we dead from that lung crushin' drownin' sickness
VI
for my money the businessman is exactly what the grand ole party needed said a sycophant senator who couldn't be interviewed by the media because he is out to lunch
he's packing the courts with conservative judges yeah
sowhat that the Speaker of the House and her gang impeached him I'd like to break the laws he breaks roar YOU'RE FIRED and get away with it
VII
there's no romance to what I'm doing said the first line worker the fact I'm still alive and standing says everything everything but I'll try to talk you throughat first I thought I would lose my job well I did lose my job what I did wasn't essential but they asked me to join a team to prone the sickest patients yeah prone flip the patient over OMG I thought I would get the plague myself give it to my family we had to reuse our masksglovesgowns and then I thought ok let me get the disease and be done with it so I have immunity but a doctor heading my team said no your organs can be damaged in the mildest case 200,000 how many have to die for people to cry out for a change at the top so what I'm telling you is wear a mask socialdistance washyourhands stay home when you can there are too many people out there who are exercising their freedom to die I don't want them in
my hospital
VIII
dios mio I fear this great nation will turn out like my island in the Caribbean Sea families without refrigerators without toilets they might as well live in Siberia at least there they could keep their milk cold that Democrat with the big smile maybe he is a nice guy but he is promoting socialism and his running mate is a woman a woman who could easily be next for president since smiley is so old and besides she is too close to her immigrant roots I ought to know as immigrant myself
IX
Mom if this online school thing is going to work I need your help right now with
Andrew Jackson and the trail of tears
40 acres and a mule
top ten mass murderers
truth and reconciliation commission
cultural revolution
Russian bounties on our nation's soldiers
and oh this one sounds easy drinking the kool aid
X
fight fire with fire?
not now too late for that said the firefighter clear the
underbrush? you must have a fever? can't breathe? where's your mask? that virus maybe went to your big head yup get a fireproof roof or better yet move East and tune in to the fairytales there
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Writings
