Still

Microphone on

Sitting very still microphone right up to my mouth I notice my knee

right knee hurts have to relax my shoulders sitting very still

Listening to the sound of my voice in a very quiet space I'm staring down at my keyboard at the letter T

blink a couple of times curiously my knee has stopped hurting the only sensations are my breathing and the weight of the microphone in both hands

I might have to shift

I'm going to put my right hand in my lap because I'm cutting off the circulation from the pressure of the heavy microphone

that feels much better

Of course when you stare at something like I'm staring at the letter T it becomes a little bit of an ocular phenomenon it fades in and out especially since it's white on black

Breathing glancing up to see if the microphone is still registering and apparently yes I am being listened to because the words are still appearing

It's tough staying in the present

I wanna tell stories about the past or make up stuff for the future but I'm still staring at T

No particular sensation of pain

if you go searching for it you'll probably come up with something

my right knee is still just on the edge I want to move it but I'm not going to I'm going to breathe into it 

slowly

I was going to ask why did I pick the letter T and of course that falls right into the trap instead of being present with the T as it is

I do have a tendency to wiggle my toes but that's OK

there still is this kind of like self hypnosis

Adjust my microphone hand so that it's not cramping this is a heavy microphone but it's sensitive so that's good I don't have to speak loudly I'm actually purring crooning quality of voice I mean it's not really supported it's certainly not a singing voice

And not many sensations of much of anything no hunger no thirst praise the Lord my lips aren't chapped as they often are

Easy breaths very easy

I didn't time this it didn't occur to me to do it because I had no idea what I was going to do until I started

And now the ankle bone right foot I'm probably going to have to move it I think that's OK

very gentle

beginning to be aware of my butt going to sleep historically that means I need to start squeezing my glutes not that it really does any good

OK that was annoying the monitor decided to turn off which was very distracting because all of these thoughts bubbled up about where did that change in the quality of the light come from it's because a big bright screen in front of me suddenly went dark hello I'm so intent on this relaxation it was like a jolt to my system and then it becomes a narrative which is not really the purpose even though this cannot help but be a narrative nonetheless required to lift my right hand off of my lap and wiggle my mouse so that the screen will come back

That's interesting

Seems I left the head set on that I wear a lot of the time which rests above my ears not in them or on them but has been known to be quite uncomfortable

it is almost imperceptible

that might be luck

OK now I just had a little passing of gas I don't think the microphone picked it up

Soft even breath

I am tempted to check the time as if this were a marathon

Maybe that's why I'm staring at T

T for Time

Microphone off