I expressed love today. In a random and spontaneous kind of way. By that I mean, it happened in an instant unprovoked, perhaps evoked, not sure. I think I was testing something, in me, about me. The test was something like: "Okay express love in an unexpected way to an unexpecting person, someone who knows you but doesn't foresee that kind of expression, and give it genuinely, don't fake it, no, not that." If I feel love for someone - as I often do – and the norm, rule, social etiquette, social more, custom, cultural practice, is that love in this case, the usual case, is not expressed, I give myself permission to challenge this and, follow the feeling, yes follow the impulse.
When I do, it comes from a genuine feeling in a random kind of way and the expressee or recipient or love-receiver is ….. I suppose ….. surprised ….. and pleased. No, more than pleased. I think it's this:
There's an instant before a second thought cuts in. Before any kind of thought, where the person loves you right back. Expresses it with a smile, a glance, a fleeting look – a beat. Expresses it in a spontaneous moment, and two people are taken up by the expression of love. They glance through a window with an infinite view. And yes, that moment passes. Yet, something lingers, something builds, is building.
It's the confidence to do it again! The desire to give love again in random and spontaneous ways. The expression varies and it's always genuine. And each time something grows with the confidence and the desire, it's the knowledge that love is expanding. The heart. My heart. Your heart, gets fuller and fuller.
Our heart. Is full, and keeps filling with love. Where does it stop? Why should it stop? It doesn't. Yes this feels good. The random expression of love. These random acts of kindness. I say kindness because I figure that with each expression of love I am being kind to myself. Treating myself with love and kindness and in the process feeling more and more like expressing it and sharing it. Giving it. Living it. Living with it. In this world I live in. We live in. You with me and I with you. Imagine all of us being kind to ourselves and giving each other love in random and spontaneous ways. Good thought. Got to do it. Going to do it. Am doing it. Oh and before I go, did I happen to mention, I love you.
|