I'm up pretty late tonight probably should be getting some sleep even with this outmoded Daylight Saving Times adjustment, but I just feel like getting a start on this. I was going to do it today. Didn't happen and then I attended the already tragically silly Monday night choir Zoomersal, truncated at the last ten minutes by an ill-advised and I want to say kind of thoughtless choice of a surprise fun chorus piece for us to do, advertised as based on an old song from the 60s. I was initially kind of look at that, probably song that I totally know! I mean I thought I could just jump in immediately. Cue intro and I start singing along and what the fuck imagine you and me I do I think about you day and night it's only right to think about the boy you love and hold him tight so happy together  See how I did that in one go. Not even a hesitation. What? do I really want to sing that goddamn song no! Thank you very much. I left the Zoom.

Now here's something interesting: I have to go back to meditation but I came to this conclusion by such a freaking unbelievably circuitous route. Going back to how much time I'm spending on my tablet on my phone—not so much on the computer though—just watching shows and marking time and doing what I can putting one foot in front of the other blah blah blah. With acknowledgement and gratitude to some of the medical professionals who've been helping me, that's very true, and yet I don't spend near what I could just reading, which makes sense. I love to read why wouldn't I read? Probably because I can't concentrate for long stretches of time. I used to be able to read for 6 hours straight.

No. Here's the thing: watching stuff that has been engineered for you, that's been pre-digested for your consumption; you don't know what the algorithm is going to send your way so you kind of follow it down the rabbit hole. Point is I ran across Russell Brand. I've always kind of liked him. Hadn't seen him around in quite a while probably just because I just was not as invested in YouTube as I have been in the last couple years and he probably wasn't making as many videos because that wasn't a thing. A lot of people are making videos that have never done it before. Anyway, as I worked my way through two or three of his videos I realized that I'm in awe of his articulate use of language; would put most people to shame. And so at the end of the day it comes that I'm watching him expound on meditation in the most Russell Brandy way. What can you say he just has an ineffable style. I think he's working his way toward a type of status as a mentor or Guru or Mensch. And of course all of those labels are completely useless and counterintuitive, because obviously.

That didn't take very long it's only almost midnight.

Time for sleep.