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Takes
a special kind of
sadism to leave what
appears to be a lovely
jigsaw puzzle, really
nice box, sweet
memories of the
location in question
(in my case of a show
that I was in and the
song being sung) so you
take it home and get it
all organized. The main
board, some flat places
nearby, a retrofitted
cookie sheet. Some good
light.
And there's pieces missing.
I got other things to
do. I'm back into
ASL and got two choirs
running. what do I need
with a jigsaw puzzle? A
rhetorical question of
course. I don't
remember what was going
on—maybe it was
the lead up to this
Iran crapol—but I
sat down and rewatched
the 911 documentary
with survivor footage
and interviews.
Blissfully free of
Talking Heads. I then
turned around and found
a free version of
Lawrence of Arabia
(that's some time
invested!) I don't
consider it wasted,
this ain't no
bitcoin.
Also, for the last two
weeks, I've moved
out of my so-called
bedroom and got all the
stuff off the bed in
here next to my
computer. Why would I
want to do something
like that for crying
out loud? One word.
Mosquitoes.
It happens kind of sort
of on a regular basis
not like I've kept
a log, but yeah, it
happens. Sneaky
motherfuckers I just
put up with them. This
time it was just too
much.
First, I put surgical
paper tape on the worst
bites to keep track of
them. Then I bust out
the Lanacane and then a
little tube of
repellent—from
the India trip I
think?—never used
it. Then there's
calendula gel. Love
that stuff.
Couldn't put my
shoe on for an entire
day because there's
one of those scary
blister ones with the
goo inside. I might put
a Band-Aid on that, put
my sock on and try to
walk
comfortably…no.
Gotta give it a day.
Now we're looking
at week two. Send text
off to hardware store
son and see if
there's some kind
of bug zapper gadget I
can install? He says I
should come over and
take a look so
housebound be damned. I
gotta do some walking
anyway. I hobble over
there and buy a couple
of things on his
account so he gets the
discount. That plus
some Safeway spray
repellent, boycott be
damned.
I'm still only
getting interrupted
sleep. Hell I even got
out my 95% empty
container of CBD
lotion. Put some of
that on my wrists and
took a Tylenol. That
helped a little bit.
Problem is that it can
be just two bites.
Let's say one on my
rib and the other on
one ankle. Those guys
play ping-pong,
sometimes with an
actual spasm of itching.
Apparently, I've
gotten enough rest so
that I am coherent at
rehearsals, but this
comes at a cost. I
haven't done the
work I should do. I am
in the middle of the
pack, but I like to be
up at the front. Right
now I'm in danger
of bringing up the
rear. Almost fell
asleep at the retreat
in the afternoon.
That's a long day
anyway, but sitting
still and getting all
Zen—that’s
tough. There's
music going on around
you and somebody wants
to have a conversation
at the break and
there's way too
many donuts to resist.
In the back of my
consciousness,
something is saying
time for a nap time for
a nap time for a nap.
And there’s the
itch.
I was feeling sorry for
myself enough that I
actually admit to one
of my colleagues that
I’m suffering.
Picked the wrong
person. She's a
doctor. Sigh. First
words out of her mouth
are you knew this
might happen and you
didn't prepare for
it?
I have just enough
energy to get 20%
defensive before I just
shut down, smile and
shrug.
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